Finding a New World
by FallRose
Summary: The Second Part of Felicity's Search. After finding Ben and admitting her true feelings, Felicity finds herself in a new world, both figuratively literally. -Updated chapter 6!
1. Author's Note

Author's Note

This is the second part in _Felicity's Search_. After 23 Chapters I felt like the first story was getting too long, but I couldn't stop, there were still questions unanswered and plot lines still unsolved: What about Henry? What Felicity will do after Ben gets out of prison? How will she adapt to him back to her life? What about Zachary? And the others that Ben has formed a bond with in his prison cell. It would be terribly mean of me to go way with all these questions unanswered. So, I will try, as long as my faithful readers have questions, I will try and answer them.

Thanks for taking interest!


	2. Chapter 1

Felicity had been to jails before. When she was ten she and her best friend Elizabeth had gone to the jail at the edge of Williamsburg. She remembered the small, cold, dark cells,the eerie light that a-lighted the prisoners' faces.But the jail that Ben was imprisoned in was much different. True, it had the same cold stone walls and the black iron bars caging the prisoners in, but this one was bleaker. The number of inhabitants was far greater and the sanitary conditions much worse. The smell of sweat and human waste was overpowering. The men were sick, hungry, and dishearten. The faces of the incarcerated were ghostly white, and many were shrunken from not having enough food.

The ride back to Williamsburg was a somber one for both Felicity and her father. They were much less talkative than on their initial trip. The only sounds were those of their horses' footsteps along the paths providing a steady beat for the birds singing in the trees. Finally father broke the silence and in a strained voice asked, "You and Ben?"

"Yes, Ben and I . . . ?" Felicity pulled Penny up so she was riding side by side with her father and looked straight into his eyes.

"Never mind, I am not ready for this." Mister Merriman admitted, regretting that he had mentioned the subject, and turned his head away from his daughter's stare.

"Not ready for what?" Felicity was puzzled.

"For you to be courted."

"But I have been courted for months now." Felicity pointed out.

"That was different," Mister Merriman tried to explain, "That was slower, I felt like I had a long time to get used to the subject. I like Henry—I like Ben as well, but they are different, your actions towards them are different. I know you care for Henry, but you are devoted to Ben. I think I've known it for a while, but have denied it to my self 'til now. And now Ben, I never would have imagined saying it, but Ben scares me."

Felicity had to giggle, her father, scared? She smiled with amusement. And what was even more amusing was that father was scared of Ben! She remembered back to the time when Benjamin Davidson had been an apprentice in her father's shop. He had been quiet and, for the most part, very obedient. Her father had trusted him and described Ben in the past as being loyal, trustworthy, and honorable.

Mister Merriman continued, "You have to speak with Henry. You must be fair to him."

Felicity stared straight ahead, thinking over what he had just said.

&&&

At home Felicity and her Father were met with showers of hugs and questions from their family, everyone wanted to know how Ben was faring. When questioned by her younger siblings about what the jail was like, Felicity hung back, sheltering them from the true horror of it all.

Keeping her promise, the next day Felicity ran over to Elizabeth's to tell her everything.

"Charles Town is a grand city, but it has suffered greatly. It as though a dark shadow has been cast over the city. We are lucky to be living in Williamsburg."

"Felicity, you are a Patriot. Most of this community is Patriots, the Committee of Safety are all Patriots. This dark shadow you talk of, I understand what you mean quite well for it is the shadow that we Loyalists live under everyday. It is the shadow of destruction and fear." Elizabeth revealed to Felicity. Felicity fell silent for several minutes. She remembered how scared Elizabeth had been when they were younger of the militia marching through town and how the Cole family had lost their trust in their neighbors after Mister Cole was imprisoned for a time for being a Loyalist.

They were sitting in the privacy of Elizabeth's bedchamber that late July afternoon. Felicity told Elizabeth all about her encounter with Jonah and introducing him to the innkeeper who offered him a place in her heart and home. Elizabeth was proud that Felicity had helped the small child. It broke her heart that such a little bit was left all alone in the world with no one to care for him. And finally Felicity told her about Ben. She told her everything, leaving nothing out.

"It was horrible Elizabeth! Going in there, seeing all those poor men packed into the small cells! And there he was, he was beautiful!" Felicity got up and spun. Then she began acting out the encounter. "I ran over to him," she ran over to where Elizabeth was sitting on the bed, "and looked at him, his handsome face with the big brown eyes and fine brown hair, tied back from his face—an angel bringing light to the darkness!" Felicity near swooned and Elizabeth giggled at the entertainment.

"I think you were more the angel to him than he was to you!" she tried to stifle another giggle.

"He reached out to me and I took his hand in mine," Felicity took Elizabeth's hand, "He asked if it was a dream for he sees me so often in them."

"How romantic!" Elizabeth sighed and then glanced down at Felicity who was still holding her hand and giggled again.

"And then," jumping up and hugging herself, "he kissed me!" Felicity flung her arms out and spun, filled with joy, the crescendo of her tale. "My whole body trembled, from head to toe! I never wanted it to end!" she sighed and sat down next to Elizabeth, "but then it did, and the dream was soon over."

"You should go into play-acting Lissie!" Elizabeth clapped with delight at Felicity's theatrical re-telling. She then reached out to her friend and pulled her in to her and stroked her hair. "You are in love Felicity, 'tis a wonderful and frightening feeling all at once. Ben is a fine lad, I hope he comes home soon to you."


	3. Chapter 2

The fantasy of love with Ben had its complications. Felicity knew she could not string Henry along any further; it was unfair to him and to Ben. She tried to think of a way to break the news to him.

On Saturday Henry arrived, unannounced, at the Merrimans with a bouquet of summer flowers. Burying his face in the sweet flora, Henry took a deep breath and smiled and then skipped up the front steps and knocked. Over the past two weeks he had missed her so, he never wanted to be separated from her again and was going to declare his love for her. He planned on asking Mister Merriman for his Felicity's hand this evening. Answering the door, Felicity was filled with guilt when she saw his smiling face and the beautiful flowers. He looked so genuinely happy that Felicity loathed herself for what she was about to do. She stood in the doorway, unfeeling, as Henry kissed her on the cheek and welcomed her home.

"I've missed you so," he whispered in her ear, gently nuzzling the skin behind her ear with his nose, "Come riding with me!"

"Henry, I can't. We need to talk." Felicity said, coldly, but Henry paid her no heed.

"Of course you can, go get Penny. 'Tis a glorious day." He held out his hand, presenting the fine day to her.

Felicity grabbed his hand and jerked it towards her, "I said 'no'---we need to talk."

Henry just laughed and placed his free hand on top of the two, and brought his face close to her, "Anything you like my love, I am just happy to have you back here with me." He gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Let's go to the gardens and talk." Felicity said seriously and the two of them walked to the garden behind the house and sat under the white dogwood tree. Felicity sat rigid on the bench and coolly again started, "Henry we need to talk."

"That we do," Henry smiled and took one of Felicity's delicate hands in his large one and looking lovingly into her eyes.

Felicity pulled her hands back, and turned her head. "The trip I was on with my father was to Charles Town."

"I know that, for business, right?"

"We went to see Ben."

"Ben?" Henry was confused, "As in your father's apprentice Ben. I thought he was a casualty of the Battle of Charles Town."

"He's imprisoned there. He is very much alive." Felicity corrected him.

"That's wonderful news, your father must be thrilled to still have his apprentice alive." Henry hugged Felicity, but she did not hug him back. He began to kiss her down the neck. It was too much for her!

"Henry! We cannot see each other any more!" she blurted.

Henry stopped mid-kiss and pulled away from Felicity. "We cannot what? Felicity, are you alright? You do not mean that." He begged her to reconsider, but Felicity sat unmoving.

"No Henry, I am not right for you, you deserve someone better than I."

"No one could be more perfect for me than you are. I love you!" his eyes glistened; he could not comprehend what was happening.

"Henry, it is a lie. I care for you, I do, but not in the way you want me to. 'Tis unfair to me and to you to pretend."

These last words hit Henry, and his whole demeanor changed. He could not take this, he jumped up and yelled at Felicity, "Pretend?! Lie?! All this time are you saying you cared nothing for me?!"

"No! Henry, please!" she pleaded, "It's not like that!" This was not going at all like she had hoped.

"Do not 'please' me Felicity Merriman! All along you have been playing with my feelings? Oh you act well my girl," he growled at her. "What brought this on?"

Felicity looked down at her feet, tears streaming, "I'm sorry, I just . . ."

"Just what? What happened in Charles Town? Our relationship was fine before you left!"

"I had time to think about our relationship and realized that though I care for you greatly, I do not love you in the way I woman should love a man. I cannot be what you want me to be. I tried, I wish I could be."

It was if Felicity had slapped him in the face. Henry stood there looking at her in shock and then his eyes narrowed. "It is that _apprentice_." He sneered. "I remember, you once told me how close you and this Benjamin were. Our relationship was fine until you saw him! _You hussy_!" he growled at her and pulled her up by her wrists. Looking at her his anger faltered and he was just left with the hurt of Felicity's betrayal. He shook her once, "Good-bye Felicity Merriman, I curse the day I met you!" he dropped her wrists and grabbed the flowers and stormed out of the Merrimans' garden. Felicity stood watching him storm out while rubbing her wrists. The delicate milky skin was bruised red from his grasp. She had never meant to hurt him so much, she had no idea he would take so badly. A few minutes after Henry left Mrs. Merriman hurried out to her bewildered daughter.

"Oh Lissie my dear, what happened?" she asked with concern, rubbing Felicity's wrists. "I heard yelling, but I did not listen in."

"I turned Henry down," Felicity explained sadly.

Mrs. Merriman looked horrified, "But what caused these red marks my child? Do not tell me Henry did it!"

"He was angry, he was holding my wrists tightly when I broke the news—don't tell Father! It _is_ my fault; I should have told Henry sooner that I did not love him. I tried to love him, but you cannot make a person fall in love."

"Felicity," Mrs. Merriman put her arm around her daughter.


	4. Chapter 3

The days passed slowly and Felicity was much quieter than usual. She missed Ben, she missed Henry too. She felt awful for the break-up, turning-down real suitors was not as fun as it was in lessons with Miss Manderly, they did not take it graciously like the imaginary gentlemen in lessons. They hurt, they feel betrayed and they are angry, in all reality, men do not like to be rejected. Felicity felt silly for believing that Henry would accept, that after courting for the past few months, she would suddenly tell him that she did not care for him as much as he had thought and accept it as though she had told him it was going to rain tomorrow.

Elizabeth asked Felicity if she had turned Henry down and Felicity told her a summarized version of the turning down.

"I'm sorry it did not go well, Felicity. I thought he was a fine gentleman, I did not know he would be so rough." Elizabeth said sadly.

"Rough?" James said is a shocked yet sarcastic tone. The three of them were sitting in Elizabeth's garden sipping lemonade. Elizabeth had consulted James for his opinion on the matter, believing that a man's insight would do them good. "How would you feel if I suddenly told you that these past few months, I had _tried _to return your love? That I could not pretend any longer, I could no longer live a lie."

"I would feel horrible." Elizabeth said, placing her hand on top of his.

"Precisely, what else?" James pressed.

Elizabeth withdrew her hand and looked down at the liquid in her glass and admitted, "Angry."

"Angry, why?" he pressed further, getting closer to the point he was trying to make.

"Because someone who I believed cared deeply for me, someone who I trusted and loved was really just pretending—they were lying to me. I would be angry that someone I trusted lied to me." Elizabeth said, her brown eyes growing wide with understanding of Henry's behavior.

"I understand James, stop using Elizabeth, I understand, I have poor word choice." Felicity conceded.

"But he still did not have to behave violently." Elizabeth pointed out.

"No, that was bad form. Though very predictable—he is a man and there are flaws in character, we are not all gracious gentlemen like the gentler sex would like to believe."

"Such insight." Elizabeth said mockingly.

James took a sip of his lemonade and continued in a gentler tone, "Tis not your fault Felicity, there is no easy way to serve rejection. Put this behind you and move on. Tell me about this Benjamin, if he is going to be my wife's best friend's future husband I should bloody well like the chap, I may have to see him often, and from what my Elizabeth tells me this Benjamin is an even finer specimen of man—even if he is a Patriot!"


	5. Chapter 4

Ben lay on the cool dirt floor staring up at the ceiling. The stifling mid-August heat hung in the air like an unwanted wool blanket. The intolerable warmth caused the prisoners to spend their days lying on the floor of their cells, unmoving for movement would cause more heat.

Ben remembered a time, months ago, when he dreamed of summer's heat to warm him from the freezing winter's cold and frost bite. Now the intense heat was providing other problems. Heat stroke was ramped in the jail and water was scarce. There was nothing to do but dream of cooler weather.

The cells were quiet, the heat made the men to tired to talk. There was a strange hush in the room, with a constant sound of soft moaning and whispered voices. The days passed slowly, each day on the incarceration more unbearable than the previous.

It was during one such lazy day that one of the men in the cell closest to the door called out in a strangely invigorated voice, "Good news men! It sounds like the officers are planning a prisoner exchange! We may be soon out of here!"

A cheer went up among the prisoners as the chance of freedom breathed new life into the soldiers.

"Huzzah!" they cheered, tears of joy at the prospect of freedom streamed down the faces of many. The ruckus caused the warden to leave his office and check in on the soldiers.

"Be quite ye mongrels!" the warden growled, poking his head in to the jail. After one quick tour he went back to his desk, closing the door behind him.

As soon as the door shut, excited whispers flew throughout the air.

"Can you believe it? We can be out of here!"

"I can see my wife again!"

"Home cooked food!"

In the face of optimism, some were pessimistic.

"It could be just a rumor."

"Don't be getting' your hopes up, who knows how long it will be til we're free."

Nathaniel did a little jig in the cell,

_Pumpkin at morning, pumpkin at noon;_

_If it was not for the pumpkin we should be undoon_

He sang, looking forward to fresh food.

Zachary smiled weakly at Nathaniel's antics.

"You need to get yourself well, son. The Americans don't exchange for sickly prisoners." Stephen bent down to place his hand on the shivering Zachary's forehead.

"I've made my peace, Stephen. Do not worry about me." Zachary said.

"That is no way to talk, we will have you out of here and get you to a doctor soon enough and then you can go home to your bonny lass." Stephen scolded. Zachary just smiled and whispered one word, "Sarah." before closing his eyes to drift off to sleep.

The next few days passed particularly slowly as everyone was anxious about news of an exchange. Finally one afternoon the warden sauntered into the cell block, with two other guards. Reaching the middle row he unrolled a piece of parchment and read aloud;

_On the 23rd day of August, 1781, representatives of the American Army seek to negotiate a prisoner exchange of one-hundred men to take place at 11 o'clock at the north field of the City of Charles Town, South Carolina. _

A loud cry erupted from the prisoners, Nathaniel hugged a bewildered Ben and tears of joy moisten the faces of both John and Stephen who looked forwarded to seeing their wives and children again. The 23rd of August, that was less than a week away!

Ben bent down to where Zachary was sitting, propped up against the outer wall. "Aren't you excited to get out of here?" he questioned.

"Extremely." He answered with a sad smiled and turned his gaze to look out his cage's window.

But Zachary never did live to see freedom. Two mornings later the sun rose red in the sky. At light Zachary began coughing; his whole body shook with each intake of air. The men in his cell awoke with the noise, as did a few others surrounding them. Stephen sat Zachary up and gave him a few thumps on the back.

"We need a doctor in here!" John called, as did a few other men, but no one responded to their calls.

"I can't . . . I can't . . . . breath." Zachary wheezed, trying to catch his breath. One of the men in the cell closest to the door continued to call for help. John used his tattered handkerchief to wipe Zachary's mouth and noticed blood on the cloth, he looked at the boy and shook his head. When Zachary's coughing fit subsided he called weakly for Ben. Ben crawled over to his friend, knowing that the end was near.

"Promise me you will give this to Sarah." Zachary pulled a letter written on the butcher paper that the flag was written on out of his coat pocket. "Tell her that I love her and to smile again. I cannot bear to see her sad. Tell her we will be together again someday and that I love her. I love her more than anything in this world."

Fighting back tears, Ben assured him that he would.

"And, Ben, I saw your Felicity. I saw you with her. Go home to her and never leave her again, she is special."

Overhearing, Nathaniel muttered softly, "A true romantic"

Ben smiled at Zachary and promised him that he would. A sudden calmness came over Zachary's face and he took his final breaths, surrounded by the men who had become his family over the past few months.


	6. Chapter 5

Ben, Nathaniel, John and Stephen sat with Zachary's body until the morning guard came for his rounds.

John held Zachary's hand until the guards carried him away, mumbling,

_  
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.  
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.   
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.  
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.  
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.  
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever._

The men bowed their heads in solemn reverence. They watched as the guards carried Zachary out, each bowing their heads in respect as his body passed. They knew that his body would be placed in the mass grave with the other men who had died while in prison.

"Tis unfair." Nathaniel finally said, his eyes focused on the doorway that Zachary had passed through. "He deserved better."

"I shall miss him." Ben added, his head bowed.

"We all will," John said, comforting the younger men, "he was much too young to die. Every night I lie awake praying that my sons . . ." he became too choked up to speak and Stephen placed his hand on John's shoulder. "I am forty-nine years old, I have seven wonderful children and a loving wife. Though I have so much, I would rather be the one than one so young who has so much ahead of them. I've experience life, but Zachary . . ."

Stephen nodded in agreement, as a parent he understood. When it came down to it, he would gladly forfeit his life so that the younger generation could live.

The rest of the day no one spoke, the cell seemed empty without their comrade. And they missed him terribly. It wasn't until two days later when Stephen said sadly, "We have to tell his wife."

Ben pulled out the letter Zachary had given to him and stared at it, turning it over and over slowly in his hands.

"What have you there?" Nathaniel questioned.

"A letter. A letter to Sarah."

&&&

On the 23rd a hundred men were released from their iron cages. Stepping outside for the first time in months, the men squinted their eyes, adjusting to the light and looked up at the beautiful sun overhead. Breathing in deeply they allowed the fresh air to fill their lungs.

"It is a sin that Zachary did not live to see this day." John said, looking up into the clear blue sky and shading his eyes from the sun's glare. The moment was bitter sweet to the four of them. They paused to remember their fallen comrade who had come so close to tasting freedom, but had perished at its gates.

Loyalist soldiers surrounded them, led by an officer and a drummer tapping out a beat, the haggard men marched in straight columns to the north field were they stood facing their own commanding officers, standing in front of their own ragged captives.

The commanding officers walked to the middle of the field and shook hands. Discussing the agreed upon terms they finally marched back to their respective sides and called orders for the drummers to strike up their tune. The captives obeyed and marched orderly to their respective sides. Finally in line under an officer clad in Patriotic blue, Ben smiled at his new found freedom. All around him men were crying "huzzah!" and throwing up their hats. Ben bent down to feel the soft, lush grass under his hands. Plucking a dandelion, he placed it in his button hole. The commanding officer called out orders and they followed the officers back to the encampment. Back at the encampment an officer called the hundred newly freed men around him.

"On the first of this month, General Cornwallis and about 10,000 troops settled at a small port in Yorktown, Virginia. The French fleet under Admiral Count de Grasse is making its way towards the Chesapeake. General Washington has coordinated with General Rochambeau to rush their best troops to Yorktown to destroy the British's position. Attack on Yorktown will not commence until at least mid-September, for that is how long it will take for General Washington and General Rochambeau's troops to get down there. I will allow you all two weeks leave to see your families and recuperate before battle. I need superior soldiers out there. Meet back here on the 6th of September. We will head for Yorktown on the 7th and arrive there approximately on the 19th. Any questions?" he bellowed the orders to the mass.

A few men raised their hands.

"Yes?" The officer called on one man.

"What be if our families are up towards Yorktown way?" he asked and a few men muttered their agreement.

The officer conferred with another officer standing next to him for a bit and then answered the crowd, "If you will be heading north of here towards the Yorktown area, met this regiment on the 19th. Remember you has freed you, I expect you all to return to this regiment and honor your commitment. Any many who does not return will be treated as a deserter of the American Army. You are dismissed to leave!"

The men scattered quickly, anxious for the chance to see their families for a short time. John looked at Ben, Nathaniel and Stephen who nodded at him in unsaid agreement. "We all miss our families, but we know what we must do first."


	7. Chapter 6

Ben, John, Stephen, and Nathaniel walked in silence towards Zachary's hometown of Charlotte, North Carolina.

"How are we going to find where he lives?" Nathaniel asked, kicking a rock.

"We'll find it," John assured him and they kept walking along the dusty dirt road.

Eventually they reached Charlotte with its quaint little homes and remnants of both Patriot and British encampments. Stephen suggested they ask at the local general store to locate Zachary's home.

Stepping inside the general store reminded Ben of Mister Merriman's store. From the wide pine planks on the floor to the smell of sawdust and spices in the air. The walls were lined with brightly colored cloth and necessities of all sorts. It felt good to be in a store again. The man behind the counter was a cheery old man with a gray beard.

"Welcome to Charlotte, soldiers. What can I do for you?" he greeted the weary group. Stephen and John approached the shopkeeper and in hushed tones asked their questions as Nathaniel and Ben looked about. Ben played with the tin scales absentmindedly while Nathaniel was enthralled with the sweets.

"You like a piece? Go, take one for yourself." The shopkeeper urged and Nathaniel happily obeyed.

After obtaining the necessary information, John thanked the shopkeeper and shepherded the group outside.

"Sarah lives on Tryon Street, a white house with black shutters and a dogwood in the yard—can't miss it with that description. Her parents on a farm just outside of town, pale yellow I believe he said, and his on Church Street—brick, I think we should see Sarah first."

"This is going to break her heart," Stephen said gravely.

Looking up at the pretty little house with its neat gardens and the laundry hanging to dry in the back, Nathaniel commented, "It even looks like Zachary," referring to its neatness; not even a blade of grass was out of place.

They all took a deep breath and walked up the brick walkway. "I do no want to do this to the lass," Stephen said as John was about to knock on the door.

"No one does," he replied sadly and knocked.

Ben's heavy heart fell the minute the door was opened. Part of him was praying that no one was home so that the task could be avoided for a big longer and the girl could still have the hope that her husband would soon be coming home to her. But, no, the door was opened by the embodiment of Zachary's dreams; she was just how he described: like a doll with big blue-green eyes surrounded by long brown lashes. Pink rosy cheeks and red lips against porcelain skin, her brown hair in soft curls, she was even wearing a blue dress. The unsuspecting girl smiled sweetly at her visitors and invited them in, but they turned her down. Apologizing for the 'mess,' she told them her husband would be home soon to help around the house. Nathaniel smiled weakly at this last comment, but Ben just turned his back to her, not able to look her in the eyes.

"Mrs. Nickerson," John stopped her, and Ben turned to face her, tears welling in his eyes as in the eyes of his comrades. "Mrs. Nickerson, we are friends of Zachary. We were with him when Charles Town fell and cellmates in the prison. No one was as honorable as your husband and I was honored to have called him my friend. He spoke of you often; he loved you more than anything in the world."

Sarah's smile fell, but the look in her sea blue eyes was one of confusion and denial. "I, I, I don't understand what you are saying." She stuttered, "Where is Zachary? Why is he not with you?"

"I'm sorry, we tried everything we could," Stephen began, but he couldn't finish, a lump had formed in his throat.

"I'm sorry, but Zachary passed away." John finished for him.

Time seemed to stand still. The color drained from Sarah's face, her eyes clouded over and no longer did her face hold the warm glow of life, instead it became pasty and sickly as life as she knew it escaped from her. She let out an ear-piercing mournful shriek, an unearthly sound of a heart breaking as she crumbled to the ground. Stephen caught as she fell and gently sat her on the ground. Sobbing, she turned for shelter in Stephen's arms and cried into his chest. This was a side of Stephen Ben had never seen before, he held Sarah in his arms, gently stroking her head with one hand and rubbing her back in a circular motion with the other, cooing, "It will be alright, it will be alright, hush little one." Sarah sobbed and sobbed until she exhausted her self. Suddenly, Sarah's body jerked and she staggered over to a bush, her eyes vacant of life as they darted back and forth, searching, and then she started throwing-up.

John immediately assessed the situation. "She is making herself sick, Nathaniel, Ben, see if you can find a doctor to see if he has something to calm her nerves."

"and her parents!" Stephen called after them, steadying the girl and holding back her hair.

"I'll find the doctor, you find the parents." Nathaniel suggested and turned to run towards town. Ben shrugged _Sure, take the easy job and avoid breaking bad news_ and he turned to find the farm.

The first farm he reached was a handsome looking house made of pine boards surrounded by a wide covered porch. In the front yard there was a young man carrying water back to the house from the well. Ben stopped him to ask where he could find the house of Sarah Nickerson's, wife of Zachary Nickerson, parents.

"This is their house." The young man informed him, "I am her older brother, Ephraim." He set down the buckets and shook Ben's hand and then called for his father. Sarah's father soon approached, along with her mother and Ben had to break the sad news of Zachary's death to them all.

"Dear Lord, not Zachary—he was so young!" Sarah's mother gasped and placed her hand over her heart.

Ephraim's immediate concern was his younger sister, "How is Sarah taking the news?"

"Not well."

Ephraim immediately set off running towards town and Sarah's father explained in a rush, "I have seven sons but one daughter, the youngest of my brood. Her brothers treasure her as one would treasure gold, especially Ephraim, he has always looked after her."

"My baby!" Sarah's mother moaned.

Her husband turned to her, "Be strong, Sarah needs you. I'll hitch up the horses." He turned to Ben and bid him good day and ran to the barn to ready the horses.

Emotionally exhausted from the last hour, Ben sat along the edge of the road. He had to tell Zachary's parents. John had once told him that although he was proud that his sons had joined up, his biggest fear was burying his sons. "No parent should have to bury his child," he had said. Now Ben was going to inform a parent just that and it was scarier to him than facing a thousand Redcoats.

Entering town again, he got directions to the elder Nickersons' house. The shadow of a fine brick building loomed over him. This time he did not have John and Stephen to bear the burden. Approaching the door he suddenly hated Zachary, hated him for dying, hated him for leaving his beloved wife, hated him for all the heartache he was causing, but of course, he didn't hate him. Zachary had been a good friend to him. Ben had often confided in him about his mixed-up feelings about Felicity. Zachary who had been so sure of his love for Sarah all his life was able to help Ben admit his love for Felicity.

"_When did you first realize you loved Sarah?" Ben quietly asked Zachary one night when everyone in the cell had fallen asleep and only the two of them were awake. Zachary turned his gaze from the small window, separating him from the stars and looked at Ben as though he was seeing him for the first time before turning back to the window. Ben thought he had overstepped his boundaries for a moment, but then Zachary began to recall past memories with a lovingly._

"_Being caged in here I have been recalling old memories so vividly, things that I thought were so insignificant at the time are the memories that have stayed with me all these years. . . . You know I was cruel to Sarah the first time I met her. It was the first week of school and she sat in front of me, answering all the teacher's questions correctly before I could. I did not like that, so I dipped the end of her braid into a jar of ink, when she found out, the back of her dress was ruined and she started crying. Then I felt worse than I could ever imagine, her brother Ephraim carried her home as she cried and swore she would never go to school again-suddenly I was terrified I would never see her again. I ran all the way home, not believing what I had done. My mother had made me shortbread cookies for my first week of school and I took almost the whole batch and brought them to school the next day with a note that just read 'Sorry.' I never admitted what I had done, nor did I apologize. But she smiled so brightly when she received the cookies that every time my mother made them I would take a bunch and leave them on her desk. I never told her they were from me, but you know what, she knew all along."_

"_You never told her how you felt?" Ben was confused, Zachary was such a strong believer in true love, he had just assumed that he also had had the courage to embrace it as soon as he encountered it._

"_No, but we did become friends and played together throughout dame school, childhood flirtation. I picked her flowers and we would practice our lessons together. But then my parents sent me away to boarding school when I was twelve for five years. I thought of her, I missed my best friend, much like you think of your Felicity now . . ." he paused for a moment. "Do you remember when you first met her?"_

_Ben smiled, playing back a memory he had almost forgotten. "It was my first night at the Merriman household. I had just moved into their house and was on the verge of starting my apprenticeship. The whole family was sitting around the dinner table, making polite chatter and there was Felicity across from me. Her green eyes bore into my soul as if she was trying to read my entire life story there at the table, but it was not unkind. Her gaze never wavered, much like her personality; she is the most loyal person I know. In a way it impressed me, the way she sat there."_

_Zachary smiled knowingly, "I understand perfectly, and when did you realize you loved her?"_

"_I do not, I mean, I . . ." Ben stuttered._

"_I was friends for years with a girl that I could not get out of my head, but I did not know why or confronted my feelings about her for years later. Looking back I lost so much time. It was not until I had graduated and come back home, sitting in my church with my family and the minister preaching about facing your fears with the Lord's help; the words sent chills over my body. I felt like the minister was speaking directly to me, for almost 11 years I had been too afraid to tell Sarah how I felt. So that day I stopped her in front of church, there in front of her seven giant, protective brothers I blurted out that I had liked her as more than a friend for years—she smiled so brightly she outshone the sun and exclaimed that she had been waiting for me since the day I left the cookies on her desk! We were married less than four months later." Ben had never seen Zachary smile so brightly, and yet his eyes were so sad, longing for the life he had left behind._

"_It was a series of little things I guess, I did not realize how much I cared for her all at once, but over that first year I lived with the Merrimans she grew to mean so much more to me. I think the first real memory that has truly stayed with me is the time I discovered her with breeches-"_

"_Your breeches!" Zachary exclaimed with a laugh._

"_Yes," Ben chuckled remembering his reaction to finding her with them, "she had been borrowing them to sneak out of the house at night to tame a horse with a bad master. I kept her secret. Then around Christmastide she went to the Governor's ball and her father asked me to escort her. I think that is the first time I saw her as a young woman, until that point she was like a sister to me, a confidant, a faithful friend when I had none other." He trailed off, lost in thought, "I ran away once."_

"_From your apprenticeship?" _

"_I ran away to join the continentals one summer and I hurt my leg. I knew that if I left a small token in the birdhouse at her grandfather's plantation she would come to help, and she did. She began to assist me, but ended up talking me back . . ." his voice quieted in realization "to her. I postponed my dream of fighting in this revelation because of her words . . . that is the moment." Zachary smiled, "That is when I fell in love with her. I do not think anyone could have made me return to Williamsburg, to a shop when there was the whole world waiting for me, but she did."_

Ben thought back to the time before he joined up, before he was imprisoned, he had changed so much since then. He had seen so much.

Ben knocked politely on the door and it was opened by a young negress. "I have word for Mister and Mrs. Nickerson, are they home?" he asked quietly.

"The master is in his study working, he isn't receiving callers right now."

"Please, it is very urgent." Ben insisted and the servant told him she would check. A few minutes later the stately Mister Nickerson greeted him, clearly annoyed that his work was interrupted.

"I am sorry to disturb you sir but . . .," Ben looked down at his feet, he couldn't do this! How did John put it? "I am sorry sir but I was a friend of Zachary's and I regret to inform you that your son has passed away."

Mister Nickerson grabbed his heart with one hand and steadied himself against the wall with the other. "My son!" he moaned, "My only son!" at the sound of his cries, Mrs. Nickerson ran toward him as did the cook and the woman who had answered the door, both servants hung back in an empty doorway, watching the scene unfurl.

Taking his wife by the shoulders, Mister Nickerson broke the news to her. She clung to him as she cried. Ben retreated a few feet and averted his eyes from the painful scene to allow the couple to mourn their loss.

Composing herself just a bit, Mrs. Nickerson looked at Ben standing awkwardly in the doorway. Drying her tears with a handkerchief she said with a sudden calmness, "Would you care for something to eat? We have shortbread cookies, they were Zachary's favorites."

"No thank you ma'am."

"Are you sure?" the woman insisted, suddenly ignoring the fact that her son was dead. "When Zachary was little he used to eat half a batch in a day! I would have to hide them from him."

"Then I must have one." Ben conceded and Mrs. Nickerson went off towards the kitchen and Mister Nickerson led him to the parlor. Sitting down with a pipe, he asked, "How did my son die?"

Ben did his best to answer all of Mister Nickerson's questions, telling him how brave and honorable his son was. All his questions, Mister Nickerson sat back and became lost in his grief. Mrs. Nickerson's way of dealing with the grief was to ignore the fact that anything was wrong and insisted on feeding Ben while telling him stories of when Zachary was younger. Eventually, Mister Nickerson could not take his wife's actions anymore.

"Our son is dead Emily! He is gone!" he roared and Mrs. Nickerson shrunk back.

Getting up, Ben said meekly, "I think I will take my leave now. I am sorry for your loss."

"I am sorry too," Mister Nickerson said.

Peering her head over her husband's shoulder, Mrs. Nickerson solemnly asked if he had told Sarah yet. Ben informed that it had been done and then excused himself.

With his head hung, he walked back to Zachary's, kicking stones in the dirt as he went. When he approached Zachary's home he found John, Stephen, and Nathaniel sitting on the front step.

"The doctor gave her a sleeping draught." John said quietly.

"Her parents are with her." Stephen added.

Ben sat down next to them, "I told his parents."

Looking up at the blue sky above them, John peacefully recited, "He will swallow up death in victory: and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off faces." The men bowed their heads in reverence.

&&&

They stayed in town for a few days, attending the memorial service the Nickerson's held for Zachary. The service was the only time Sarah had gotten out of bed since she heard the news. Glancing at her in her mourning garb, Ben saw she was a mere shadow of the girl he had met a few days ago. In the graveyard, as Sarah sat by the freshly erected grave stone, Ben overheard Sarah's mother tell Mrs. Nickerson that Sarah had refused to eat since she heard the news and would wake up in the middle of the night tossing and turning and calling out for her beloved. Ben's heart wept for the broken girl, he walked over to where she sat and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"I know no words that I can offer would alleviate your pain, but I am truly sorry for your loss. Zachary was a fine man and if he could, would have protected you from all the pain in the world."

Sarah glanced up at him, tears running down her face, "Then why did he go and cause me the ultimate pain? Why did he leave me? He could have stayed with me and not gone and fought. Why will he not come home to the ones he loves when you will?" she asked.

Ben sat down besides her, "I do not know why. But before he died he gave me this," Ben pulled the letter from his pocket and handed it to Sarah. "It contains his last words to you, I know he would not want you to be sad forever. He loved your smile and your laugh and as long as you remember him in your heart, he will never truly be gone from you. Death isn't the end of everything, no change, no loss, no separation, not even death, can end love. Love lasts forever."


	8. Chapter 7

Felicity sat in by the little brook where she and Henry used to ride to for picnics writing a letter to Ben. Realistically she knew he would probably never receive the letter, but just the simple act of writing helped her feel closer to him. Signing her name with a final flourish, she smiled and laid back dreaming of the day when Ben cam home.

"You will get freckles if you do not mind your hat." A familiar voice broke her dreaming.

"Henry!" she sat up abruptly and folded the letter quickly. She brushed herself off so as to make herself look presentable. "Tis most improper to sneak up on a lady," Felicity scolded.

Henry smiled at the words and then turned away from her to skip a stone across the water. "Writing a letter to your beloved?" he asked over his shoulder. Felicity did not answer; they both knew the answer. "I wish you would look like that while thinking of me." He said and caused another stone to dance across the water.

"Henry," Felicity began, "You know I am dreadfully sorry about the way things turned out. I truly do care for you, but I promised my heart long ago to Ben. I am so so sorry about hurting you, you made me so happy, you made me laugh. I really did care for you, please believe that, and I hope someday you won't hate me anymore."

Henry looked into her sad eyes, he could see she was truly sorry but he was not ready to forgive her. "You hurt me Felicity Merriman, you betrayed me. You also betrayed your Benjamin, have you thought about that? What will he say when he finds out that you courted another? That your lips rested on another, that while he was there lying deprived and beaten in a dark jail cell you had found happiness with another. "

"Stop it!" Felicity got up so she was almost at eye level with Henry, she could not abide having him tower over her. "Stop it! I have told you I am sorry for what I have done. That I did not mean to hurt you but you! You are deliberately trying to hurt me now! I thought you to be a gentleman, but now I see you are nothing like a man I would sit fit to hold my affections. You may blame Ben for stealing my heart, but you, you yourself have lost my friendship." She stormed off back to her house. Henry let her go and threw a few rocks into the brook. He watched the ripples for a few minutes and then turned to see Felicity's figure getting smaller and smaller. Throwing the last rock in he turned to chase after her.

"Felicity! Wait!" he called as he ran toward her.

"What would you like?" she stopped in her tracks and turned to face him running towards her.

"You love this Patriot apprentice who fights for liberty?" he questioned.

"Yes," she said in exasperation, "I love this Patriot apprentice who fights for _what he believes in_." she emphasized the last part.

Henry lowered his head, "You hold that against me then?"

"You believe in liberty but you are not willing to fight for it? How much is it worth to you then? You might as well question why we breathe. If we stop breathing, we'll die. If we stop fighting for what we believe in, the world will die."

Henry paused for a moment, "Felicity, I am going to make myself worthy of you."

"Henry, please, find yourself someone else! I do not love you!" She pleaded in exasperation.

"The Continentals are in Yorktown, I am going to join them. You will see Felicity Merriman, I will make you see!" and he ran off, leaving a bewildered Felicity.


	9. Chapter 8

Finally the weary travelers finally reached the encampment at Yorktown. The route from Charlotte to Yorktown was a long one and after months of just sitting, their tired bodies were not used to such exercise; thus, the journey took much longer than expected. Prior to their leaving, Sarah and Zachary's families outfitted them with new clothing and supplies. Nathaniel walked with a piece of cornbread in one hand and a blueberry scone in the other, happily munching on the two as he sauntered on.

Reaching the outer city limits atop a peak, Ben pointed far ahead, "My family lives over there in a fine brick house with green shutters. I have not seen them in years." He said wistfully.

"And Williamsburg isn't too far off," Nathaniel pointed out with a wink and Ben's ears turned red.

"Your family will be happy to see you, son," John said, putting his arm around Ben, "Come find us when you are done visiting."

"No, I don't think Ben should enter the city." Stephen advised.

"Why not?" John questioned. "His parents have every right to see the boy and know he is out of that dreadful jail."

"Because look!" Stephen pointed out towards the horizon, there, along the bank of the Chesapeake Bay specks of red dotted the coast. "The British army has made their camp. Let us hope that Ben's family has found safe harbor." He turned and walked towards the American encampment. The other men followed and they soon found themselves a tent and set up camp. The atmosphere was tense, it was obvious the British were close by and a great battle would soon ensue.

Ben sat staring into the roaring blaze as he and his friends sat round a campfire. As he watched the dancing flames he was reminded of Felicity's fiery hair and spirit and smiled to himself.

"What do you think this new world will be like?" Nathaniel mused.

"Much like the old one I suppose." John answered quietly, "it is still a nation of men."

"No," Ben answered, "We vowed to make this a new world when our forefathers landed here so long ago. They came here to escape tyranny and oppression, and tyranny followed. We have the chance to create a country built on the masses and not the minorities. We the people of this great country have spoken to King George III: never again will we allow the populace to go unheard for a country is built on the backs of all its citizens, for if it was not for us, us farmers and merchants and slaves, husbands, fathers, brothers and sons, this country would not exist. No, this will be a new world for we have seen what happens when you try to ignore the cries of the people—the people will not be silenced."

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Sorry this took so long, and sorry if it is not to the same caliber as the other chapters, this term has gotten in the way of writting (exams, papers, sorority, then i was sick for a week, etc. so now I have some free time so I will try to get some more done for you guys. Sorry you had to wait so long)


	10. Chapter 9

Ben woke early the next morning and climbed to the top of the hill overlooking Yorktown. He remembered playing on this hill as a child and enjoying the glorious view, and today it was no less wonderful. He saw the massive warships of the French barricading the river, preventing supplies from reaching Cornwallis and the French and American flags waving side by side. Hearing the call of a bugle, Ben ran down the hill and joined Nathaniel, John, and Stephen and the rest of the troops as the gathered to answer the call.

"We came here as Virginians, Georgians, Carolinanians. From thirteen colonies we gathered, but today we fight as one. I am not a Virginian—I am an American!" A voice called out and was answered by a responded by a resounding, "huzzah!!"

"Let's go fight for this New World,' Nathaniel said with a grin and slapped Ben on the back.

"You are not going to get far without these," John handed Nathaniel and Ben their muskets and they fell into ranks, marching off to meet the British as the drummers began their fateful tune.

The French, under Rochambeau, formed the left flank of the attack, while the American troops, under Washington and Lafayette, approached from the right. The city was soon surrounded and under heavy fire.

Cannons fired sending debris and smoke across the field. "Stay your ground!" someone yelled among the chaos. Ben quickly reloaded and focused on the approaching forces.

"Steady . . . aim . . . fire!" he thought to himself and pulled the trigger, closing his eyes as he did so. Opening one eye he saw he had made his mark.

"Both eyes OPEN!" Stephen called to him and Ben wondered how Stephen knew. "Stay calm boy, this is no different from any other battle." Ben again reloaded with rapid speed and focused again on a new target.

"Steady . . . aim . . . eyes open—fire!" The blast of a cannon rattled his last thought. A miss, the cannon explosion near him had unsteadied him. As he reloaded he looked over to where the cannon had fired upon. On the ground he saw a solider clutching his leg as his face contorted in excruciating pain.

"Ben! Focus!" came the call from Stephen just as searing pain overtook his body. Ben looked down at his body and then up again at Stephen standing next to him, his eyes loosing focus as the blood drained from his face. A look of shock appeared and he collapsed to the ground.


	11. Chapter 10

_Dear Felicity,_

_I am off to make myself worthy of you. As I am about to enter my first battle I cannot help to admit that I am nervous._

Henry bent over the parchment as he tried to find the words to express his true feelings for Felicity. Lost in his thoughts he was suddenly jarred back to reality by the blast of a bugle. Momentarily confused, he quickly addressed the letter, placed it in his breast pocket, picked up his musket and followed the troops as they gathered round the orator.

"We came here as Virginians, Georgians, Carolinanians. From thirteen colonies we gathered, but today we fight as one. I am not a Virginian—I am an American!" the voice called out, answered by a resounding, "huzzah!!"

Henry made a nervous smile and fell into rank, marching towards battle.

"First battle mate?" the minuteman marching next to him asked. Looking down at his musket, Henry mustered a confident, "Yes."

"Just focus on them officers, without the officers they have no order." The man winked and they continued marching in silence. As he came closer to the British troops his eyes widened at their sheer number. He looked around at the rag-tag group he was a part of; some in Continental uniforms, others in farm clothes, others, the French, in their military uniforms. There was hardly any uniformity in their group and yet they were fighting in part to unite their country. The thought suddenly amused his: "the army could barely unite themselves and yet they want to unite an entire country?" Oh, G-d, he was so nervous he was getting giddy—"pull yourself together man! Focus!" His legs seemed to move on their own, stepping in tune with the beat of the drums.

"Halt!" the order and drum beat called out and Henry stopped in formation and loaded his musket. He waited for the call, holding his breath he took aim and pulled the trigger. Breathing a sigh of relief he watched as the Patriots' first volley ripped through the Redcoats' line. He reloaded and prepared for a second volley as the men were fired upon. His second shot was steadier than the first and he breathed a little easier even though his heart was pounding in his ears.

"CHARGE!!" the order was given and chaos seemed to ensue. Henry's mind was in a haze. He tuned out all sound, all emotion, all he could think about was: aim, focus, shoot, reload, repeat. He tried to keep count of how many men he hit but even that was too complicated. Smoke rose from the cannons and the muskets. There was the think smell of brimstone and the agonizing cry of the wounded; but Henry did not hear or smell it, the adrenaline of being in battle consumed him.

BLAST! Henry felt a fire worse than any he had ever felt before consume his body. He lost his balance and fell to the ground: the cannon ball had claimed his leg. He clutched the knee above where a leg had once been. As he clung to remains he glanced up to survey the scene around him, for a moment catching the eye of a young solider before he was hit by a musket ball. Far in the distance he saw the flag waving against the sun. He steadied his gaze on the red, blue and white waving above the ensuing battle as his breath grew steadily shallower.


	12. Chapter 11

"Ben, stay with me," Stephen patted Ben's cheeks to wake him up. Ben's eyes fluttered open.

"It . . . hurts," Ben explained weakly.

"I know son," Stephen said with a weak smile while placing pressure on Ben's shoulder to stop the bleeding, "just stay with me." Looking up, Stephen called over to Nathaniel, "Cover me!"

Nathaniel's eyes grew wide as saucers "Ben!" he gasped and rushed to his friend's aid, thinking little of what was happening around him. Stephen tenderly picked Ben up and hugged him close to his chest as he rushed back to the encampment.

"Stephen! This is crazy!" Nathaniel called after him as he followed at Stephen's heels, "We are going to get killed." Nathaniel swatted off a bayonet that came a little too close for comfort.

"Do you want to save our friend or what?" Stephen called over his shoulder, picking up speed. As soon as they reach the encampment one of the surgeon's took Ben from Stephen's arms and shooed him and Nathaniel back into battle.

Ben lay in the hospital tent for days, drifting in and out of consciousness. His chest burned with every breath he took and the pain seemed too much to bear. In his delirium his parched lips formed one word, "Felicity." How he wanted to see her one last time, he had too.

On October 14, the Franco-American forces captured 2 major British redoubts. Cornwallis' options were running out. In a desperate attempt, he tried sending blacks infected with smallpox over enemy lines in an attempt to infect the American and French troops. Things were looking bleak for the British troops. Cornwallis saw that he was alone; aid from New York would come too late, if it did.

"Lord Cornwallis, I beseech you, you must consider a surrender, this is suicidal." Officer O'Hara implored as they stood in Cornwallis' damaged headquarters surveying the scene. The Patriots had recently taken to firing upon the headquarters, Nelson House, by order of the previous owner, Thomas Nelson. Thomas Nelson had been a signer of the Declaration of Independence and in attempt to press Cornwallis into submission, urged General Washington to fire upon his home.

"I would rather have my house perish in an attempt for independence than stand for a thousand years under tyranny." Nelson told Washington.

"Has it come to this?" Cornwallis said dismally. "An army of rabble, of peasants . . . everything will change. Everything has changed."

"Welcome to the New World." O'Hara concluded grimly.

On October 19, Cornwallis finally surrendered.

"Ben! Ben! We did it! We won!" Nathaniel raced to the hospital tent to tell Ben of the wonderful news.

Propped up on the pillows, Ben smiled at his friend, "Tell me all about it."

"Blast, you know already, don't you?" Nathaniel said, sitting down at the edge of the bed, "You look good, you know?"

"Thanks, wish I could say I feel as good as I looked—but tell me all about it. You tell good stories; it will be like I was there."

Nathaniel smiled and began his tale as Ben sunk back into the pillows and closed his eyes, picturing the moment that would live in his mind forever:

"It was about noon and our forces and the French lined up along the road—the French stood on the left side of the road and we stood on the right and Washington was at the head atop his horse looking as proud and as noble as a god. The light radiated around him. There was this anxious excitement in the air; you could just feel it in your bones. Also at the head was Rochambeau and the French were playing music. We stood for about two hours—two hours man!" Nathaniel shook Ben to grab his attention, "Two hours we had to wait!" He let Ben sink back into the pillows. "Two hours we waited to see that scoundrel Cornwallis surrender, but he disappointed our anxious expectations. Pretending indisposition, he made General O'Hara his substitute as the leader of his army. Solemnly, as though on a funeral march, O'Hara entered, followed his troops. With shouldered arms, colors cased and drums beating a British march they came and, having arrived at the head of the line, General O'Hara, elegantly mounted, advanced to the commander-in-chief, taking off his hat, and apologized for the non-appearance of Cornwallis. Washington showed great dignity and politeness and directed O'Hara to Major-General Lincoln for directions. Lincoln graciously directed them lobster backs to a field where they were to ground their arms. Well, the look of disgust when given the order to 'ground arms' was unanimous—you would have thought we told them to strip and do the Virginia reel! Let me tell you, they performed this duty in a very un-gentlemanly-like manner—some threw their arms into the pile with such violence that I am sure they were trying to destroy them. This irregularity, however, was checked by the authority of General Lincoln. Then, after having grounded their arms and divested themselves of their accoutrements, the captive troops were conducted back to Yorktown and guarded by our troops till they could be removed to the place of their destination. And during the ceremony, the British played 'The World Turned Upside Down,' but we won! It's over!"

Eyes closed, Ben grinned, picturing the Stars and Strips waving triumphantly in the air.


	13. Chapter 12

People were shooting their muskets up into the air and the cannons in the magazine fired loudly, Williamsburg was wild with celebration. With a booming voice, an orator read the Declaration of Independence in the town square to the enthusiastic crowd, bringing new life to each word.

"The British have surrendered!" William danced around the garden with his friend Thomas brandishing sticks as swords. Little Polly waved a small American flag happily.

"It is over, Polly! We beat the British!" William grabbed his sister's hands and swung her around in a happy jig.

Felicity and Nan smiled, bemused at their younger siblings' antics. "I am sure Ben will home soon." Nan assured her sister as she put her arms around her.

"And Henry too," Felicity murmured.

"It will all resolve itself; fate has a funny way of working out."

Two weeks pasted and Felicity heard naught from Ben and Henry. At first her family assured her that she would hear in due time, but as days turned into weeks the words assurance subsided and turned into sad smiles. After a week and a half of waiting, Mister Merriman encouraged Felicity to come work at his shop, insisting that getting out of the house would take her mind off everything. However, in Felicity's mind, some days being in the store made her heart hurt more, customers would come in telling news of Yorktown, family members and friends who had come home and those who would never return. In Williamsburg, it seemed like the best places to get the most up-to-date news was the tavern and Merriman's shop, the constant flow of people brought with them a constant flow of gossip and news.

"Miss Felicity, would you mind restocking these bolts of cloths on the shelves?" Marcus asked, setting a large wooden crate down on the floor.

"Of course," Felicity responded with distraction; her eyes caught on the beautiful fabric spilling out of the box.

"Your father would like them on the top shelves; I'll bring the ladder over." Marcus said, watching Felicity sink down and bury her hands in the fabrics, "Ooo this one is so soft, Marcus, 'tis like the coat of a baby lamb!" Felicity picked up a corner of a beautiful blue cloth and rubbed it to her cheek.

"Your father thought you would enjoy this task, if you need me I will be right back, I have to make a delivery and your father will be back on the hour." Marcus set the ladder in place and left to make his delivery, leaving Felicity alone in the store.

Felicity sat on the floor, examining the bolts of fabric. She pulled out a lively pink fabric and remembered her tenth birthday when she, Ben and one of their friends had sounded the alarm that the British were stealing gunpowder from the magazine; "that was so long ago, so much had happened since than," she thought. That mayhap been the first time the reality of what was about to unfold between the colonists and the British had hit her. Hugging the cloth to her chest, she got up off the floor, after reaching to grab another bolt; she grasped the ladder with her free hand and slowly began to climb. At the top she pressed herself against the ladder to steady herself as she shifted the bolts in her arm so as to place them on the shelf.

"I should have only taken one at a time," she thought to herself as she grittered her teeth at the balancing predicament she had gotten herself into.

"Bbrrrriiiinnngggg" the bell above the door interrupted her thoughts. Without turning to greet the customer, Felicity called out that she would be with them in a minute as the visitor's footsteps indicated that they had come closer.

"Haste makes waste: you should have only taken one bolt up." A familiar voice rimprimanded lightly.

"Ben!" Felicity's face lite up and she spun abruptly on the ladder, causing her to loose her balance and fall.

"Whoa there my girl!" Ben called out as he caught her in his arms. Straightening up they looked at each other, a look that can not be described, but one that is only known to two people who are meant to be together: one of complete happiness and sereneness. "Felicity," Ben whispered as he reached up to brush back a stray strand of her hair. Still smiling, he suddenly winced in pain as the euphoria of seeing her again passed and he suddenly felt the pain of his wound.

"Ben! What's wrong?" Felicity pulled away and noticed his arm in a sling. "Oh, Ben! You've been hurt!" her face fell with concern.

"Tis nothing," he said as he pulled her back towards him with his free arm and hugged her closed. "Tis nothing, I am home now."


	14. Chapter 13

"Oh Ben! What happened?"

"Tis nothing' just a little musket ball to the shoulder; a little memento from Yorktown," Ben brushed off her concern lightly, and smiled at her.

"Bbrrrriiiinnngggg" the bell above the door sounded again, and both Felicity and Ben turned to greet the customer.

"What in the---," Mister Merriman gasped to see his daughter in the arms of some man. Ben lifted his bowed head and smiled at Mister Merriman.

"I came to fulfill my contract."

"Ben!" Mister Merriman crossed the room in two great strides and embraced the apprentice who was like a son to him. "Welcome home my boy." He greeted him, tears in the corners of his eyes, "Welcome home." Marcius was right behind Mister Merriman and gave Ben's uninjured hand a hearty shake. "We are glad to have you back."

"This calls for a celebration!" Mister Merriman cried, wiping the tears from his eyes. Turning the sign in the front window to read 'closed,' he locked up shop and the group headed home.

Ben was greeted back with loving arms into the Merriman household, Rose and Mrs. Merriman prepared a great dinner for the family and there was much crying and hugging. William begged Ben to tell him all about being a solider and proclaimed that one day he wanted to be a hero like Ben. Ben gave the boy a sad smile a trossled his hair, "I am no hero, General Washington, he is a hero. No, I am but a solider who fought for what I believe in."

That night Felicity lay in her bed, unable to sleep from the excitement in heart: Ben is finally home! He is safe! Her body tingled with excitement, and finally, unable to stand it anymore, she flung off the comforter and pulled on a dressing gown over her shift.

Wrapped in a blanket, she stole away to the stables. Closing the barn door softly behind her, Penny broke the night's silence and neighed in happy approval of the midnight visitor.

"Oh Penny my girl, Ben is home. The war is over and we won--we truly are independent now." she hugged her beloved horse.

"I see you have not grown out of sneaking into this stable at all hours of the night." Ben laughed sleepily; "well at least you are wearing your own clothing now."

Felicity cast down her eyes and blushed.

"Come here," he gestured to her and pulled her closed. Ben kissed the top of her head and then rested his chin atop her head as he held her in his arms. Felicity could hear the steady beating of his heart. The world seemed to stop and time stood still. Finally, Ben motioned to the bench and they sat.

"Felicity . . . you have been my best friend for years now. When I was out there . . . in that jail . . . I, I do not know, but suddenly all I could think about was you, especially after you came to visit. Where my mind had been previously filled with the grandeur of war and fighting for our independence, came thoughts of coming home to you, fighting for you and a future--and a family. I . . .," Ben looked down at his hands in his lap as he stumbled over his words, "but suddenly, it was strange." he tried to explain, "suddenly I was scared: scared that I might lose you--I might not come home to you or worse, that I would and find you had found another; sacred at my feelings for you. I have never felt this way about another person." he let a out a small laugh, "scared because never in my whole life have I talked with anyone as much or as personally as I do with you--you scared me Felicity Merriman. And yet I felt stronger, stronger because I knew I had to get home to you, stronger because you too believed in the cause and in me--I wanted to be worthy of that. Felicity, I want to be worthy of your love, I want to be yours if you will let me."

felicity smiled and took Ben's hands into her own, looking into his eyes she said, "You always were."

A few days following Ben's return a post rider came to the Merrimans' with a letter for a 'Miss Felicity Merriman.' The moment her eyes saw the writing on the parchment, Felicity recognized it as Henry's. Abruptly leaving the younger members of her family in the parlor, she went to read the letter in the privacy of her room; Ben gazed in wonderment at her frightened demeanor. He looked towards Nan for explanation and all he got was a hung head as Nan returned to her stitching. He then looked to William who just shrugged his shoulders.

Up in her room, Felicity all but knew what the letter said, she could feel it in her stomach. Hands shaking, she opened the letter and scanned the lines:

_Dear Felicity,_

_I am off to make myself worthy of you. As I am about to enter my first battle I cannot help to admit that I am nervous . . ._

_If you are reading this, then I am afraid my time on this earth has past. I am not afraid of death, what I am afraid of is a loveless life. I remember me when I am gone and look upon our time together with fondness. I will always hold you in my heart. _

_Henry_

Clutching the letter to her breast, she thought in horror "Oh no! What had she done!" and sunk onto the bed.

"Felicity?" Ben knocked on the door, "is everything alright?" he asked with concern.

"I am fine, Ben, no need to worry." Felicity called out, but her voice betrayed her and Ben opened the door and approached her. Sitting down on the bed next to her, he again asked her if everything was alright. When she said nothing, he carefully took the crumpled letter out of her hand and skimmed the words. The sudden intake of breath let Felicity know that his heart was caught in his chest for a moment.

"Felicity?"

"I did not love him! The whole time I wished it were you! I was false and now I have gone and sent him to his death!" she cried and turned to weep into the pillows.

Ben did not know what to make of this. He just sat next to her and let her cry her tears as he stared blankly out her window. Eventually, he gently rose and excused himself from the room. At the dinner table, both hung their heads in silence and spoke not a word to each other. Passing the dinner rolls to his wife, Mister Merriman commented that this was the quietest meal ever taken at their table. The next few days passed similarly; Felicity did not know what to say to Ben and Ben did not know how to comfort felicity for even though he knew she loved him, part of him felt betrayed that she had gone and been courted by another. He knew it was illogical, but he could not help feeling that way. It wasn't until Mister Merriman confronted him that he felt better.

"She loved you all the while, and do not blame her for her actions. We pushed her into courting, if anyone is to be held at fault 'tis her mother and I. But no one should be put to blame, you are young, she met another and still cared for you. That should show you how steadfast her love is for you for no matter what Henry offered, he was not you, and that was all that mattered to her."

"Felicity?" Ben said softly, knocking on the open bedroom door. She looked up at him in a half-guilty half mournful stare.

"I didn't--"

"Hush, I know." Ben looked at her with understanding eyes and suddenly Felicity knew everything would be alright--Ben was not upset with her. "Felicity, you did not drive him to join up, you did not cause his death. He went out of his own accord. You are being too hard on yourself."

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a thin blue ribbon, dingy from handling, with a small pearl dangling from the cord. He reached around and fastened the necklace around her neck. Felicity looked down and touched the pearl with her fingertips and then looked up in wonderment at Ben.

"If you will have me, I it would be honor to be your husband."

Throwing her arms around him, Felicity smiled in pure bliss, "I will have you Benjamin Davidson, with all of my heart."


	15. Chapter 14

1818

Felicity and Ben sat in the shade of a large elm in the backyard of their plantation. The War for Independence had long since past. After the war ended, the Nickerson family went to retrieve Zachary's body from its makeshift grave. Sarah visited the fresh grave everyday and tried to smile again for her husband, but it was always a sad smile. That May she died of a broken heart and was buried besides Zachary under the words "If I know what love is, it is because of you"

The wedding of Elizabeth and James was a joyous occasion and Elizabeth made a beautiful bride. Elizabeth and James continued to live in Williamsburg for the remainder or their long, happy lives, raising four children: Edward, Charlotte, Margaret, Robert.

A few short months after the marriage of Elizabeth and James, Felicity and Ben had their happy union. In 1792 they moved their growing brood out of Williamsburg and to Felicity's grandfather's plantation, which he had years previously bequeathed to his grandchildren. There the Davidsons raised their five children and many, many horses.

"Grandmama come watch me ride Independence!" the oldest of the grandchildren cried. A small child of ten with copper curls and green eyes ran up to Felicity and cheerfully pulled her towards the awaiting horse. Felicity laughed and Ben smiled back at her, his glance turned to the yard which was littered with children. Their oldest, Zachary, and his wife Emily had come down from Delaware for a summer holiday with their three children: Benjamin, Sarah and Grace. Feeling a need for the entire family to be together, Zachary's other siblings had come to visit. Freedom with her husband and two children; Andrew, his wife and young son; Samuel who brought both great joy and sorrow with him for his wife had recently died giving birth to a daughter, Hope, who now slept peacefully in Ben's arms.

"She has your smile, Papa" Ben's youngest, Sarah, laughed and kissed him on the cheek.

"Here, you hold your niece for a bit, you need the practice." Ben handed the sleeping babe into his baby's loving arms and patted her expanding belly. "Where is that husband of yours?"

"Robert is over with Zachary, being regaled with tales of the War of 1812 with little Benjamin hanging on every word.

"Well if they want war stories, I have a few to offer." Ben got up, his bones aching; he winced as he used his shoulders to push himself up off the chair. "Old war wound," he smiled at his daughter and offered her the chair. "Stay out of the heat," he kissed the top of her head. Glancing up again he smiled at his and Felicity's growing family. This is what he fought for.


End file.
